Too high, too strong

Experience is the best teacher. Wow...that is a super common quote, isn't it?

I still can remember, when I was at junior high, almost all of my notebooks have that quote at the bottom of each page. I don't know whether this is my fault or not. I've been applying it until this very second - but, the difference is, those weren't my own experiences.

They was my sister's, father's, mother's, aunt's, friends', or even belong to other people that I'm not recognize. Those bad, sad, or happy experiences had made me very careful to work on my life, especially my love life. Honestly, that has protected me so well - or too much, I think. Too much - until make me feel so lonely. That wall has been built too high, too strong - even I can't open it myself.

I just want you to know, I'm working on it. Working very hard on it. Working to find the key, build a tunnel below, buy some dynamites to blow it off, everything, just to break my wall... Or, would you help me??

Impossible – that’s what they said

It has been 3 years, I’m so stupid back then. Fooled by the charm of my eyes. Couldn’t see you back there, an almost perfect man. Too scared of being tighten up, I was detaching myself from ‘such’ thing. Such thing that should have my concern in the first place. My fault, I know. Been busy looking for my prince charming - that I know now it wasn’t even close to ‘good enough’.

Yes, it’s you. You’re my almost perfect man. While I’m.., I’m just an ordinary girl – nothing to be compared with you. So, what am I hoping for? Your love? Your kindness? Your attention? Or it’s just your smile? Oh yes, it must be your smile. Your smile that lighten up my days. Your smile that you gave to everyone.

Unfortunately, my heart couldn’t compromise. Still, I have a crush on you. When I’m near you, my cheeks got blushed, my hand was shaking, my heart was beating so rapid, my mouth can’t speak properly – and time stood still.

I care about you. I really do. I’ll give you the best that I can do. I’ll help you whenever you need a hand. Maybe that’s the only thing that I can give to you. And that’s the way that I love you. ‘Cause I love you sincerely. And sincerity is a certainty.

What’s really happening in me? I don’t know for sure. All that I know is – I’m not for you. I’m no good to you. You deserve better, much more better. ‘Cause you know what?

Because a good man, deserve someone as good as he is.